Posts by: Action Dan

Episode 24: Ron-spiracy

Have you been talking about me? You have, haven’t you? Behind my back! To everyone! You’ve been talking about the noise I make when I eat kippers! Never trust anyone. That’s what my financial adviser used to say. Never. Trust. Anyone.

It’s easy to see how conspiracy theories take hold. They suggest there is order behind unrelenting chaos. But no, there is nothing but chaos.

Come and enjoy some marginally organised chaos – Ron and Jim have been chosen to be part of the UK’s first manned space flight. But is everything as it seems?…

No.

Episode 23: Much Ado About 4.2 Billion Km

Pluto! Pluto! Here, Pluto!

Pluto is a long way away, and is a barren, featureless rock. No wait, that’s Australia (just kidding, kangaroo lovers!).

Some people can’t make up their minds about things. Spaciticians can’t make up their minds whether something is a planet, or a speck on their telescope. So Pluto has always provided them with a tough challenge.

Is it a planet? Is it a floaty rock? Let battle commence!

We interrupt this programme for an announcement

Hello dear blog reader / podcast listener  / audio drama aficionado,

We have a small announcement to make. Due to commitments from all AST members we have taken the decision to go on hiatus for a few months. Those of you used to getting an episode every month will, no doubt, be disappointed, confused and possibly very angry about this. May we suggest perhaps you have a nice cup of tea?

There we are, that’s better isn’t it?

So, thank you for listening / reading over the past 2 years. We hope when we do return you’ll continue to enjoy AST – like you’d enjoy the smell of freshly cut grass on a summers day.

See you soon (well we wont see you, obviously).

VIVA AST!

Episode 22: Determined Sex

Sex. It’s everywhere. Whilst you’re reading this there will be several incidents of sex happening nearby. Does that make you feel dirty? Well, let us cleanse you. In an audio sense.

Back in the early 1900s, we didn’t really understand what made men and women different. But now we do, and thank goodness. Eh? Come and meet Tabbie Stephens, a woman ahead of her time, as she wanders in to a male-dominated world. Our world. Will she find what she’s looking for? We know you will…

This is an April fool

We are delighted to announce that next week sees the launch Action Science TV. This joint venture between ourselves and Sky will bring an air of disappointing excitement to the Saturday evening schedules. And the rest of the time too.

Highlights of the Spring / Summer season include:

  • Semi-Pro Wrestling – with scientists from history (dead scientists parts played by actual wrestlers)
  • The Professor Brian Cox Minute
  • Punch, Punch, Kick, Kick – Neil Degrasse Tyson painstakingly describes his favourite action films, moment by moment
  • In Space No One can Hear you Bream – Science Brian examines the popularity of fishing in space
  • First Degree CERNs – Hilarious footage (sent in by viewers) of people using particle accelerators to open cans and bottles (£200 paid per clip, no means no)

You’ll be able to catch ASTV on Sky channel 3.1415926535897932, maths fans.

Episode 21: A Mean Time with Greenwich

“Excuse me?”

“Yes?”

“Do you have the time?”

“I do. I have it written on my hand. It’s 7.30am.”

“Thanks, no, wait. How do you know that’s right?”

“I checked it with the speaking clock.”

“Ah, excellent. Thanks.”

Time is a strange thing isn’t it? I mean, you’ve just spent some of it reading this – do you feel that was a good use of time? Do you? Well, that says all it needs to about you doesn’t it.

Hey! Come and listen to the latest episode, and find out more about how time has always been a strange thing. How do you get trains to run on time? Does Mussolini know? Do First Great Western know? No. Action Science Theatre knows.

Episode 20: Inflated Ego

Pfffff. Pfffff. Pffffff. There we go. I’ve tied 37 balloons to this chair, that should be enough to get me to the moon.

Here I go – and release! Oh. Why aren’t I going up? This is awkward. Now I look ridiculous. Oh well, while I untie all these balloons why don’t you settle in and take a listen to this little beauty?

Do you remember Edna Egerton from Episode 2? No? Well, go back and listen to that. Okay? Right, this time we visit her a bit earlier in her career when she, like me, is messing about with balloons. Join us for racing, nudity, cheese and sky-based adventure. Let’s get it on.

What's long and hard and full of...

So, I thought I’d give Science Brian a break from doing the science post for our latest episode, and I’m going to take on this particular one. Handily, I know a lot about submarines. Really I do.

Let’s start at the beginning.

The submarine is named after Sir John Submarine, who at one time was proprietor of the largest chain of funeral directors in the British Empire. His company, ‘Submarine’s Emporium of Loved One Despatch’, buried some of the Empire’s most well-known colonial expansionists.

Episode 19: Wrecklessly Subordinate

Dive! Dive! Dive!

Whoah! Exciting huh? Your heart is pounding, adrenalin courses through your veins, and your left eye twitches uncontrollably.

Well calm down buddy, you can’t listen to audio drama with all that going on. Have a cup of tea and settle in for this aquatic adventure. Will they find Nemo? Will they Moby Dick? And why is severe head trauma so common in deep sea submersible vehicles?

Let’s get to it.