The thing with Action Dan and Science Brian, is that they don’t half go on. And on. But the thing with sound effects is that they don’t necessarily go on long enough to cope with ol’ Blather and Blarney over there. So when a sound effect falls short or runs out midway through a scene, it needs to be strung out somehow. And this is where looping comes in.
Welcome to the latest episode in my irregular series: ‘Complaining About Science Brian’s Sound Descriptions’. This month we have this charmingly and unnecessarily specific addition to the list:
Why? What possible reason could I have to go and stand in a field in Wales for two days? It’ll be raining and there’ll be sheep and hippies and people who haven’t bathed, and there’ll also be Action Dan and Science Brian (aka. all of the above). You are kidding, right? There is no way on Earth that I would ever, ever, produce a live podcast at Green Man festival.
Wait – how did I get here? Ergh – get that unwashed science hippy-sheep away from me…
What a merry band, were we,
Who set off in the name of AST,
On stage, we were set to perform,
In foreign lands, to invite scorn.
Producer Dan was the first to go,
His tiny car heavily laden, and slow,
Shortly followed by Science Brian, and partner,
Action Dan, girlfriend and dog were there, not long after.
Ground control to Major Tom
Your circuit’s dead, there’s something wrong
- ‘Space Oddity’, David Bowie
[Beep] [Static] … [Beep] [Static] … [Beep] [Static] … Houston, we have a cliché … [Beep] [Static]
Action Science Theatre Meeting Minutes – July 2013
- Action Dan (AD)
- Science Brian (SB)
- Producer Dan (PD)
- Apologies – Archbishop of Canterbury (uninitialised)
It seems that my last tirade about Science Brian’s ludicrous sound effects has borne fruit. He has now started inserting apologies into his scripts to pre-empt my wrath. Well, sort-of apologies…
But the thing is, ‘punching a robot’ is not a particularly difficult sound effect to create. It’s just a case of mixing the ‘cartoon punch’ effect that I’ve used in many previous episodes with any of the 272 hits* produced when you enter ‘metallic clang’ into the Freesound search engine.
So that’s that dealt with. Now, what am I going to fill the rest of this blog with?
Oh, I know – let’s talk about equalisation.
Leonardo di ser Piero da Vinci (or Leonardo Da Vinci as he is more commonly known, thank you Wikipedia) was a man of many and varied talents. Artist, designer, scientist, musician, his talents stretch out before you in a way that makes you want to punch him in the face. But he’s dead, so that would be distasteful.
Leo, as he was known to people whom he’d never met, was a man never short of ideas. He invented the helicopter, the parachute, the concept of painting Jesus on walls, and the Rubik’s cube (one of those isn’t true). Just when you’d be thinking, “he must be done now”, out popped some other work of genius kicking and screaming into the world. Before the nurse could wrap it in swaddling and clean the gunk off it, someone would hail old Leo as a genius once more. One can only assume Leo’s ego was so big he must have grown that enormous beard to cover it up.