10 facts about Mars

  1. Mars has never been known by another name, unlike Snickers.
  2. It’s known as the red planet because of its communist tendencies.
  3. Matt Damon is the only person who has been to Mars.
  4. We only send Rovers to Mars as they’re a proper British car brand.
  5. Mars is named after the Roman god of war. Someone put the first letter on upside down.
  6. There is no life on Mars. Which is why it’s twinned with Slough.
  7. H.G. Wells wrote ‘The War of the Worlds’ about an invasion from Mars. But the chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one.
  8. Mars is covered in ‘canals’. It is currently not possible to navigate them on an overpriced gondola.
  9. The centre of Mars is solid ice. As well as caramel and soft nougat.
  10. The symbol for Mars is the same as the symbol for man. This is why Mars never washes its hands after taking a pee.

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