A peek behind the curtain...

Action Science Theatre Meeting Minutes – July 2013

The meeting

“Where’s Archie Bish?”
“Never mind that, who the hell are all these other people?”

Present:

  • Action Dan (AD)
  • Science Brian (SB)
  • Producer Dan (PD)
  • Apologies – Archbishop of Canterbury (uninitialised)


AD – Morning all. Apologies from old Archie Bish, as usual.
PD – Can I start by offering my usual suggestion that this is a ludicrous idea that will never take off?
AD – You just did.
SB – Ah, begorrah and top o’ the  mornin’ to yer.
AD – So you say.
SB – Can I raise a point of order?
AD – And what’s that?
SB – Something must be done to tackle the racist way I am represented in the meeting minutes.
AD – We’ll deal with it in AOB. Agenda item 1 – do we have tea and biscuits?
SB – I do have tea.
AD – As do I. Producer Dan, do you have tea?
PD – Yes, I can confirm that the hot, delicious beverage that brings a little joy to these otherwise hideous proceedings currently fills a receptacle that rests in my right hand.
AD – Could you keep your answers less verbose? Or I’m going to get wrist-ache.
PD – That is neither possible nor preferable from my position. Your suffering is amusing.
AD – Do we also have biscuits?
SB – I have eaten my biscuits. But I did have biscuits. Before I ate them. I would like some more.
AD – There are no more.
SB – Can I raise that as a point of order?
AD – AOB. Next agenda item – a review of the last episode.
PD – A voyage of despair and depression punctuated by laughable moments of contemptuous intrigue.
AD – The Guardian?
PD – They can’t manage words that long.
AD – It only has to appeal to the average man.
SB – I rather liked it.
AD – And there we are. Next agenda item – the next episode.
PD – A voyage of despair and depression punctuated by laughable moments of contemptuous intrigue.
SB – You haven’t even heard what it’s about.
PD – Very well.
AD – Set aboard the International Space Station…
PD – A voyage of despair and depression punctuated by laughable moments of contemptuous intrigue.
SB – That just about encapsulates it.
PD – I have a PhD.
AD – So you keep saying; it won’t get you out of that watertight contract I got you to sign.
PD – That was the last time I ever slept.
SB – Can we do my AOBs now?
AD – I’m afraid we’ve run out of time. Next month? Omar Sharif is coming.
SB – We have to do this again?
AD – Nope, but for some reason we do anyway. Right readers?

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