Tagged: audio drama

Episode 13: Name Calling

Do you know what you are? Do you? Do you really? Do you want me to tell you? Right now? To your face? You… You… YOU…

Are an AST listener!

Well done. Wise choice.

The Internabbly Pobbly of Zoomebumly Nomenclammy-wammy (or something, you’ll have to listen to someone competent saying it) sounds like a fun place to work. That must be why Kate has signed up. Join her on her first day and meet Douglas, Nick and, of course, certain danger. Will they discover the secrets of Scarborough? Will the disembodied voice tell them about special offers available near the till? Will anything ever be tidy again? Don’t just sit there, find out…

Editing Episode 12 - An Apology

And it was all going so well…

Every now and again, I am persuaded to string together a few musical notes on some instrument or other. The ‘jaunty’ (©Action Dan, 2013) Action Science Theatre theme tune, for example. So, when we needed some music to underscore the exciting alien-hunting montage in Episode 10a, I duly obliged. And people were generally very kind about it.

They won’t be doing that again.

Episode 12: Jimmy Calendrics

All together now…

“Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday AST,
happy birthday to you!”

Well done, excellent work. A particularly good range of tenors amongst you.

AST is 1 year old! (Okay, not quite. Obviously we didn’t start with an episode zero though. Shut it maths people.) To celebrate we have this special episode that features us playing ourselves! Although not until the end. So hang on in there for that.

Can Jimmy win back some credibility from the scientific community? Can he win back any kind of respect? And where did Gene Roddenberry come from? Stop asking, start listening…

Jimmy, Mike, Science Brian – Brian Macken
Debs – Miriam Higgins
Anne, Mona Lisa – Rhona Wells
Art, Christopher Columbus, Smethley – Matt Kirk
Commentator, Sailor, Gene Roddenberry, Action Dan – Dan Bond
Producer Dan – Dan Booth

Written by Dan Bond & Brian Macken

Produced by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by Freesound.org

Episode 11: Ice, Ice Maybe

We know 3 facts about the Antarctic:

  1. It’s cold
  2. They have penguins
  3. Penguins tend to poop everywhere

Into this icy, poop-covered wasteland comes Bill Chesham – a man seeking quiet isolation. Instead, he’s in for the adventure of a lifetime.

Will Bill find out what the clanging sound is? Who solved the Rubik’s Cube? And what sound do penguins make? Find out now…

Bill Chesham – Dan Bond
Sailor, Helpful Penguin, Andrew – David Ault
Sandra – Kirsten Summers
Melissa – Elena Wright
Ian – Jamie Crowther

Written by Dan Bond & Brian Macken

Produced by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by Freesound.org

Episode 10a: War of the Cotswolds

Anyone who knows the AST crew personally may have noticed a cock-sure swagger that they seem to conduct themselves with these days. It’s the confidence that only comes from doing almost a year of audio drama podcasts.

Recently we decided to harness this power and put it to work. So we entered a competition. This competition:
War of the Worlds 75th Anniversary Contest
(In case you were wondering, we didn’t win. Or come in the top 3. Which obviously means it’s brilliant, but misunderstood.)

And here we make available to you, our sophisticated audience, our entry for this competition: War of the Cotswolds.

What do you do if your budget’s been cut, your marking isn’t finished, you’ve run out of biscuits, and aliens land in the playing field? Time to find out…

Herbert “Spadger” Watkins  – Dan Bond
Terry “It Must Be Alive” Smythe – Brian Macken
Gareth “Epic Fail” McPhail – Dan Booth

Written by Dan Bond, Brian Macken & Dan Booth

Produced by Dan Booth

Original music by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by Freesound.org

Editing Episode 10 - When the Boat Comes In

Growing up in the north-east of England, it was impossible to remain unware of the region’s industrial heritage. In particular, shipbuilding on the Tyne has a distinguished 800-year history. As a child of the 1970s and 80s, however, it was also impossible to ignore the decline in shipbuilding – indeed, in all forms of manufacturing industry – in northern England at that time. Unemployment rose, and once-busy docks and slipways fell into disuse, lending a melancholy air to the river, and a sense of dispair to the region as a whole.

Since then there has been massive regeneration. Like similar areas in cities such as Sheffield and Birmingham, Newcastle’s Quayside has been transformed into a centre for arts and culture, as well as new housing developments.

So what does all this have to do with Editing Episode 10? Well… not much. But after 10 episodes, I’m rather running out of things to talk about.

The Anatomy of an AST Script

As runners of a moderately successful free audio drama, people often ask us what the hell we’re doing in the garden, and threaten to call the police. But we’ve stopped garden dipping recently, and have instead spent more time on our scripts.

Scripts on the floor

You spend hours working on a script, and it ends up like this.

So, how do we do it? Well, we’d recommend Celtx – it’s free! And it does all the formatting for you. Which is good for us because we’re quite lazy. So that’s the tool, what about the constituent parts? The anatomy, if you will, of an AST script?

Let me take you through it:


My favourite part of the whole thing. A great place to stick in a pun, play on words or, better still, something that is almost a pun or play on words but actually isn’t. Nothing like confusing the minds of a select group of the population. And you are a select group aren’t you? Of course you are. Look at you, sitting there. Reading this. Probably eating something sticky. Don’t let other people judge you. We don’t judge you. We think you rock. Have another one, handsome.

Episode 10: Voyage of the Hammed

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

There are no pirates in this episode. Let’s get that out of the way first up. What have pirates ever done for science? Other than contributions to cartography, and encouraging people to bury important things. It took ages to find Newton’s Principia I understand.

Join the crew of the scientific research vessel HMS Treasure, as they tackle some big issues: gambling, cross-dressing and musical talent. Get downloading. Ye scurvy dogs.

Captain Cuse  – Calum Mitchell
First Officer Ricks – Brian Macken
Mr Green – Matt Kirk
Mr Banks – Dan Bond
First Crewman – Tara Clarke
Second Crewman – Wendy Bradley

Written by Dan Bond & Brian Macken

Produced by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by Freesound.org


“Der Mond ist aufgegangen” (Thomas Bergen) / CC BY 3.0
“New aloha oe” (banjo980) / CC BY-NC 3.0

Editing Episode 9 - More Cable

Marvel Comics' Ghost Rider

Why yes, I would like to borrow your
Zoom H4n Handy Recorder

At the end of last month’s thrilling instalment, you may recall that the heretofore reliable AST technology had undergone catastrophic working-properlyness failure. Episode 8 was eventually rescued by a man on a motorbike, but we couldn’t rely on that happening every time. So, I had to find a way to make sure that we could get safely through Episode 9. For reasons that now escape me, the first step involved inviting Action Dan and Science Brian to my house and feeding them steak and chips.

Seriously – I’ve got to work out what they’re putting in my water.

Episode 9: The Weighting Game

How much does a kilogram of feathers weigh? Did you say 1 kilogram? If you didn’t, you may need some help using that electronic device you’re reading this on.

Sneaky people are after it. Not the feathers, the kilogram. The original. Which is in a vault in France for safe keeping. And these are no ordinary sneaky people; they have skills. Will they get away with it? Will we? The con is on.