- Mars has never been known by another name, unlike Snickers.
- It’s known as the red planet because of its communist tendencies.
- Matt Damon is the only person who has been to Mars.
- We only send Rovers to Mars as they’re a proper British car brand.
- Mars is named after the Roman god of war. Someone put the first letter on upside down.
- There is no life on Mars. Which is why it’s twinned with Slough.
- H.G. Wells wrote ‘The War of the Worlds’ about an invasion from Mars. But the chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one.
- Mars is covered in ‘canals’. It is currently not possible to navigate them on an overpriced gondola.
- The centre of Mars is solid ice. As well as caramel and soft nougat.
- The symbol for Mars is the same as the symbol for man. This is why Mars never washes its hands after taking a pee.
What a merry band, were we,
Who set off in the name of AST,
On stage, we were set to perform,
In foreign lands, to invite scorn.
Producer Dan was the first to go,
His tiny car heavily laden, and slow,
Shortly followed by Science Brian, and partner,
Action Dan, girlfriend and dog were there, not long after.
A sleepy suburban house in Watford. 6 people, 2 cats and a selection of food. This can mean only one thing: Action Science Theatre has begun.
First step: tea.
Next, time for a read-through. Already problems. Science Brian wants to change things; as a result Producer Dan wants to have him thrown out. We clear the air and continue…
A physical push is required in the script. A cast member is almost thrown from the sofa.
The word “I’m” causes an unexpected problem. Resolved with a change to the script. The writers promise to avoid cunningly simple words in the future.