Tagged: space

Episode 45: Bullet Time

Guns. Dangerous things. Well, one end is. Really as long as you’re not standing in front of the little bit on the front you’ll be okay. They never point that out in gun statistics do they? What about all the people who were BEHIND the gun?

Having established that guns are safe, let’s use one to fire people to space! Woo! This is a great idea. Nothing can go wrong. Time for a warm audio ear bath. Dive in.

10 facts about Mars

  1. Mars has never been known by another name, unlike Snickers.
  2. It’s known as the red planet because of its communist tendencies.
  3. Matt Damon is the only person who has been to Mars.
  4. We only send Rovers to Mars as they’re a proper British car brand.
  5. Mars is named after the Roman god of war. Someone put the first letter on upside down.
  6. There is no life on Mars. Which is why it’s twinned with Slough.
  7. H.G. Wells wrote ‘The War of the Worlds’ about an invasion from Mars. But the chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one.
  8. Mars is covered in ‘canals’. It is currently not possible to navigate them on an overpriced gondola.
  9. The centre of Mars is solid ice. As well as caramel and soft nougat.
  10. The symbol for Mars is the same as the symbol for man. This is why Mars never washes its hands after taking a pee.

Episode 27: It's All Rover

Space exploration. When you think about it, it’s just like darts. Hurling projectiles into the dark depths hoping to get  a treble-twenty. You could get glory, or end up drinking in a pub on a Tuesday afternoon while everyone else is at work. Good place to meet NASA scientists.

THEY’VE SENT A ROVER TO MARS! It will collect rocks. They always do. BUT WHAT ELSE COULD HAPPEN? Let’s program this baby for adventure. BEEP BOOP BEEP. There we go. Everyone strap in!

Lunch after launch

Eating in space has its own challenges. Everything floats around, for a start, and keeping the meatballs in a meatball sandwich is difficult at the best of times. So food, like everything else in human space flight, is very tightly controlled.

But it was not always that way.

Episode 24: Ron-spiracy

Have you been talking about me? You have, haven’t you? Behind my back! To everyone! You’ve been talking about the noise I make when I eat kippers! Never trust anyone. That’s what my financial adviser used to say. Never. Trust. Anyone.

It’s easy to see how conspiracy theories take hold. They suggest there is order behind unrelenting chaos. But no, there is nothing but chaos.

Come and enjoy some marginally organised chaos – Ron and Jim have been chosen to be part of the UK’s first manned space flight. But is everything as it seems?…

No.

Episode 14: Space Stationary

In space, no one can hear ice cream. But then no one can hear it on Earth either. Unless it’s being fed to a noisy child.

So, I bet you were all wondering the same thing we were: what if Commander Hadfield had been, rather than a lovely man, a bit of a dick? Well, now’s your chance to find out.

Come aboard the ISS (International Space Station for those out of the know) and find out what it’s like to live and work in space. Can the crew survive? Will anyone get naked? Will the visual jokes work in audio? Houston, we have a podcast…

“…an endless stream of excruciating puns, allusions to space series of the past (addicts of Star Trek and Space 1999 might find the podcast especially nostalgic), with the odd fart joke thrown in for good measure…”
Radio Drama Reviews Online